The other Sunday i boarded a matatu from Parklands Baptist Church after the service to town, @ 30 bob per person,I was with my sister so that totals to 60 bob for the two of us.Ofcourse when you have a big sister you are paid for fare,,how i wish i had one.So i gave the tout 100 bob and gestured him ‘Two”.Now usually,im the impatient passenger who asks for her change as soon as possible,the same way the makanga will demand for the fare,you might think yu will escape through the window.
Reached town and he still hadn’t given me my 40 bob change.We alighted at Posta and then i went up to him demanding my balance,he gave me 35 bob and told me hana five bob.Okay,,i took it and we walked to our destination for lunch.But the 5 shillings kept itching me,in my heart i was hoping ill get in to the same mat and give im 5 shillings less and see if he’d remember me.So i have come up with a contract i would want to sign with the matatu sector if possible.
1.CHANGE(BALANCE)
The same way your makanga asks for the fare and doesnt leave my seat without my fare is the same way i want my balance,have ready change with you,story ya nitakupa change badae sitaki unless yuou will allow me topay as a alight in any case,in other businesses we pay after the service has been enjoyed.
2.TIMING
I sometimes wonder how hungry for money these touts are,yaani i board a matatu at World Business Centre,route 105/30 for Upper Westlands or Kinoo/Kikuyu if you want,and by the time we are at Bazaar makanga ashaanza kuitisha fare.Boss hata sijaskia utamu wa gari,atleast let me ride upto Westlands or Waruku halfway my destination then i can judge the quality of your services,nijue ama nitashukia hapo ama i will continue riding with you.You know some of these matatus are so attractive from outside but wait till you board them and it starts moving.I mean a matatu looks like it has music only to have a fucking journey all the way,the only noise you hear is that of the makanga arguing with passengers who heard that gari ni 50 only to be told gari ni 80!!Btw you need one person to be the one calling the passengers,si huyu anasema hamsini gari then the makanga incharge starts asking for 80 bob in a very loud mouth!!!Please be consistent with your charges.
3AIR CONDITIONING
God has blessed each one of us with a different kind of profession,and each one of us works from various towns and cities within Nairobi or even outside Nairobi.Moreover,we have all been blessed with varying salaries and wages and what so and so can afford is not the same as what so and so can afford,What im i getting at with this,im trying to say that there are those who can afford decent colognes and deodorants are those who chose to go natural.There are those who work in offices withing the CBD and there are those who work from Industrial area and other busy towns.Note he difference in these groups of people is that some will sweat all day from handy jobs and some will swing their office chairs all day and still ride in the same matatu at the end of the day.Now i do not want to open my window in that matatu and lose my smart phone to yet another Nairobi ‘employee’ who makes a living out of snatching phones.So please put up some AC in your matatus to favor all of us.That way ata fare sitaskia uchungu kulipa
4.MUSIC
Now we are all in a different age group every day that passes.Like today is my birthday and im a year older,We have someone who is in their 30s and others 50s and so on.Now the kind of music you play in them matatus should be well chosen according to the majority in the mat.I know you cannot play what everyone likes BUT you can look at the passengers and decide im going to play Ohangla through out the trip.I find it very unrealistic and uncouth when i board a matatu for Kawangware usually 103 that is full of women going to the market and the music playing there is Konshens Pull up to me bumber!!!!Im left busy scrolling on my phone and pretending not to see anything on the screens because i am ashamed!!!Again dnt play the Mike Rua’s bad mannered songs in a matatu that has a mixture of young people and the elderly.Play such when you are taking the Friday night lovers home from a busy evening at I Club pulling em bumpers to their groins!!!Again,when you are taking people home from work,pleas play some nice soothing music,that will calm my brain,can you imagine a whole day taking in shouts from my Asian boss then board a matatu playing those Noisy Oldskool music!!!Some old time classic songs will do,Lionel Richie to be exact or ask me for a flash disk and i swear you will love my taste.
5.KUSHUKISHWA HARAKA
Now i have so much beef with almost all touts when it comes to alighting.Dude,you soothed me ,even held me by the shoulder to board your matatu was taken aback by the hospitality.So please when its my time to now alight,come pick me from my seat and ask me to shuka i have arrived at my destination,and if possible hold my hand down the two stairs but only if you are as clean otherwise let me take my time alighting,,story za harakisha madam sitaki.Still on this,can you please always keep your word on where exactly you are going.The other day i boarded a mat from TRM hoping to be taken till town only to be dropped at Ngara and given back 20 bob to get anaa mat.Do you know how bad it feels!!How badly we curse you!!!If you are not sure where you are going get your matatu out of the roads and leave the serious ones to work!!!
STILL TO COME,A CONTRACT I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN WITH THE SUPERMARKETS.
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