When they say Mwanamke ni Standards na mwanaume ni effort,they mean it!!I have my standards,and i expect any man trying to woo me or asking me out will put effort to meet my standards.So before i tell you my story,any man out there should make an effort to match any lady he is taking out on a date lest he loses the girl over such a petty amount like 60 shillings.
So i met this guy and we started chatting over whatsapp.He is my type of guy because we would chat day and night,always,anytime.. Thats what i like,i mean that’s what any woman wants,ATTENTION!!text her,call her up anytime ask her how her day has been,watch churchill together on text,tell each other which comedian makes you happy,which one bores you to death!!that’s what we like!!Give her all the attention and you’ll never beg for that cookie.Unfortunately my date didn’t get to that ‘cookie’ because of the following. The following events took place on 26th July 2014 from 2.15pm to 5.00pm.
So on this Saturday i was all psyched up and really looking forward to a tour in Thika Road Mall commonly known as TRM,which happened to be my first time.It was his idea to take me for the tour.Have i told you this was our third date?Oh wait it was!First date was a coffee date of course at a venue of my choice,you know,told you about STANDARDS.Yes and we met at the MUG behind 20th Century Cinema.I ordered my favorite Vanilla Milkshake and he ordered Cappuccino.Date went well,he paid for the bill which is expected and yea we called for another date.
Second date was at Alliance Francais there was a comedy going down by the hilarious Heartstrings entertainment.I love arts,i love watching these plays so i got the tickets,follow my STANDARDS,tickets were going for 500 bob each so i spent 1000 bob.Usually i leave work at 5.00pm,in Westlands,so i got to town by 5.30pm.The play was scheduled to kick off at 6.30pm.So in my mind,or rather in any sane mind i expected him to arrive early enough so we can talk over coffee then proceed to the auditorium for the play.But no,i went and grabbed a quick snack when 6.00pm fikad and he had not showed up.I dropped him a text asking him if he was still coming and he confirmed so after i finished my snack,i proceeded to Alliance.
The doors to the auditorium opened at 6.45pm and he had not arrived yet!!Damn it i’m the impatient woman,the kind that if we agree to meet up for a date at 5 and you when that clock hits 5 and you tell me ndio unatoka kwa hao.i’ll tell you to go back!!!Respect that i found time for you,Respect that!!Nigaa!!So i got in and took my seat at the front row,that’s where i see and hear well literally,no joke can pass!!He still hadn’t even texted or whatsapped me to tell me he is stuck somewhere but still coming.And every gal in the auditorium was with her better half and here i was waiting for this better half to be to arrive!!10 marks already deducted!! The National Anthem played and the show began,hilarious!!!!then he called me and said amefika when the play was half way done!Really my guy!!Really!!Then this was the not expected!!He was dressed the same way as the coffee date!Ngai!!Really!!Really my Guy!!I beg ooohhh.Okay the comedy was funny,we laughed and then left,he escorted me to my stage and i took a mat home.Yes i went home a bit dissapointed but the comedy kinda gave me a sigh.
So after the second date we kept talking and he said he wanted to make up for the latness.I told him not to sweat it but he insisted.I agreed and he offered to take me on a tour to TRM on the last Saturday of the month.We fixed the date,and i was super excited.I have seen pics of the place and i was longing to go there with my lil sister for a treat and here was a chance fully catered for.So usually i work on Saturdays till 1.00pm so due to the excitement i was in town by 1.15pm already aboard Route 44 heading for TRM!I alighted and i called him and told him i was here. Then to my utter surprise again,he was dressed the same same way like in the past two dates!!Really!!Really my guy!!How!!Do you know how i struggled to look my best on this TRM date!!Somebody pinch me!
Okay we proceeded to TRM.took a round tour then he led me to the food court.Okay in any sane woman’s mind,when a guy takes you to a Mall and leads you to a food court,you expect that he is loaded to his toes.We took our place and these waiters and waitresses bombarded our table with like 5 menus.Jeez how do you even choose what to eat with all the choices,,the real meaning of spoilt for choices.So i settled for Fries and fingers and a milkshake,fries fingers 300 bob and milkshake 285 bob.Total bill 585.he was a bit hesitant about making an order. i suspected he had no cash but hey,you brought me to a food court,had you wanted us to have a snack you should have mentioned that,it was lunch time and i was dying to feed the minyoos in my stomach.I told him to eat what i had ordered and he did.Total bill 885 bob.Not even 1000 bob was spent on that date.
We ate,talked,laughed,talked about people in the food court,laughed until it was time for me to pace.He comes from around Roysambu so you know i thought maybe he’ll take me over to his place and show me where he lived this being our third date. I told him it was time for me to leave and he called the waitress and paid for the two plates of fries and fish fingers,600 bob.So i waited for him to clear the milkshake bill but he was not.In my mind i thought he was waiting for change but the waitress didn't come back.Funny when he was paying for the fries,he took out the money from under the table,who does that??Usually i’m used to guys chucking cash and putting the money on the table and then the waitress collects,correct me if i’m wrong.So my suspicions even got the better of me.So i waited again for him to pay for the milkshake,still didn't make a move.
He finally gathered up courage and asked me for 60 Bob to top up the bill.Really my guy!!The bill that was not even 1000 bob!!I had 1000 bob in my sling bag,usually when going for any date,i carry cash just in case kuna mtu atafanya mwingine achonge viazi,and i normally eat what i can afford.On top of the 1000 bob i had 100 bob i gave him to go clear the bill and he brought back 40bob.And i went home!!DISSAPOINTED!!My girl in the office was waiting for stories of how fun it was!!You can imagine!Same clothes!!less 60bob. Jeez!!How much would it have costed him to take me to his place which was just around TRM and make lunch?A quatre of meat costs 100bob!!But he chose to impress me with TRM food court which ended up disappointing me and disgracing the man in him.
I stand corrected but IF YU AINT GOT O MONEY,DON’T TRY TOO HARD!!The kikuyus say,SCRATCH YOURSELF WHERE YOU CAN REACH. AND BUY SOME CLOTHES…Match my standards dude!!How will i introduce you to my girls looking like that!!Dress up!!! And that was how 60 bob made me change my mind about him.
MY SIXTY BOB DATE.
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